Hole in My Head

Here are some Fogelisms I've been saving up (code words for: I didn't take the time to blog them).

Regarding a new patient, doc exclaims animatedly: We've got his name! We've got his number! We've got it all!

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After one of my "mystery" episodes that frightened me to the point of getting Fredi to call the paramedics, I tell the doctor, "I think I was probably hyperventilating."

The doctor's measured response? "Lori, I'm sure you were."

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A middle-aged male patient is walking out the front door of the office. Doc tells him, "Your blood is fine. Come back when you want to see me."

The patient replies: I'll see you in six months."

Doc (shrugging): Whatever. I'm not doing you any good. You won't even left me give you vaccinations. (Shouts) Nurse, give him some vaccinations! (under his breath) I don't know why he is here. There is nothing wrong with him.


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The doctor is preparing to travel to Italy with his wife. He is very cheerful and traipsing throughout the office in a jolly manner. Suddenly he says, quite loudly, "Bon Giorno!"

Several people look up at him, puzzled.

Doc says, without a beat, "I'm practicing."

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Doc: I'll always remember coming out of an opera called the Nose.

Unfortunately, that's the whole remembered anecdote, because even though he related a lengthy story about the opera, the image of an opera called the Nose was so powerful it stuck in my head and I have no idea what he said the rest of the time.

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Doc (in the context of I don't know what): You have many holes in your head.

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Most recently, this last week, the doc calls me at home to tell me a member of the medical press, a writer for, as he calls it, a "throw-away journal," wants to talk to me about my activism on Avastin.

Doc tells me he mentioned me, that he told her I am wonderful, and he would like to give me her contact information to talk with her.

"Sounds great!" I said, flattered and grateful for the opportunity to talk to any member of the press, even for a "throw-away journal," about what I believe are political issues surrounding Avastin.

"Well," sighs the doc, "It's better than watching a puppy on TV."