Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Expect the Unexpected

I was supposed to have a week off chemo, but I guess I just couldn't stay away from my friends at the oncologist's office.

I knew if I called the onc and told him I am sick with a cold and have a cough and slight fever, he would tell me to come in and see him.

Which he did.

Excerpt from our phone conversation:

Doc: I think you should get a chest x-ray and come in to see me.

Me: It's just that I'm so tired, and it's really exhausting to run around to the hospital to get a chest x-ray and then come all the way to your office and everything else. Maybe what I need is some more rest.

Doc: I don't believe that anybody ever needs rest.
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I still protested.

Doc: It only takes two seconds to get a chest x-ray.

Me: Yes, but I might have to wait a long time before I get in to have the x-ray.

Doc: Just smile at them. [Pause]
You're good at that.
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When I get to his office after getting my chest x-ray done at the hospital, the doctor sees me coming in the door with my winter hat on (as pictured below) and exclaims: 
Ach! You need to do something about that hat!
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As we're in the waiting room at the end of the appointment, he starts telling us about an opera he went to see last night. 

He explains: In order to make the opera work, it had to be done carefully silly by every single person involved. 

And in regards to another opera: The soprano was projected out into the audience on a 30-foot movable ramp. She was basically spitting on the conductor. Which was great for everyone in the audience.
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The doctor's new granddaughter was born last week. The grandson is now about two years old, and the doc says, "He's the smartest two-year old there ever was."

Doc: My daughter-in-law nearly had a fit when I told her what her son's name means in Hebrew. 

Me: What's his name?
Doc: Jonah.

Me: What does it mean?

Doc: Pigeon.

Me: That's not too bad.

Doc: Would you want to name your kid "Pigeon?"

Me: Guess not.

Doc: She said to me, "I thought it meant "Dove." I told her, "What's the difference? They're both birds that crap all over everything."
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I am talking to the nurses in the hallway outside the exam room while waiting for the doctor. He comes around the corner with my chart in his hands and says loudly, "Lori, let's DO it!"

A patient sitting in a chair waiting to have his blood drawn pipes up, "I don't want to know about that."
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