Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Fredi dropped me off at chemo this week, because it was a Monday and he had to work, so the Fogelisms were a little harder to capture and remember while solo.

After my exam, the doc told the nurse: Lori wants to be accessed. I don't know why, but she's got both of her shirts back on already.

(which wasn't true, by the way, I only put my arms in a yellow zip-up hoodie because I was cold)

After I got settled on a leather couch in the chemo area, which is basically in the living room of a house from the 1950s or so, I realized I wasn't very comfortable without a pillow. Since Fredi wasn't with me, I went into the back of the office to get a pillow for myself. As I did so, the doc and I crossed paths, and he announced to no one in particular:

"Lori's on the move!"

What am I, a herd of elephants?

Once, while trying to find the nurse, I kept running into the doc in the narrow hallways of the office, and I said to him, "I'm sorry, I swear I'm not following you."

Doc: That's okay. I've done worse.

This week could have been a more fertile week for the blog, but I was really tired and out of it, and I didn't hear everything clearly besides.

But I heard part of an exchange that went something like this:

Doc was examining a patient and said loudly, "Oh, my goodness! He looks good AND he has a heart!"

An undetermined amount of time later, in a mock surprise voice: It's beating!

This somehow led into a a discussion of the Scarecrow needing a heart.

Doc: The Scarecrow wants 20 of epo!

Then a diatribe on the Wizard of Oz. I heard bits and pieces of how the book was actually an allegory of farm economics (true) and how the yellow brick road represented the gold standard (also true). I may have heard wrong, but then I could have sworn I the doc said, "The Tin Man, he only had a brain." (Not exactly true)

The doc also said, "The Tin Man was Ray Bolger." (Also not true, Ray Bolger was originally cast as the Tin Man, but when Buddy Ebsen accidentally inhaled some tin powder that was in the original Tin Man makeup and almost died, Ray Bolger, who wanted to be the Scarecrow, got to switch parts)

The nurse then corrected the doctor, and then he corrected himself, and then he went on to talk about how the book ends with the wizard getting overthrown and the Scarecrow being left in charge of Oz.

All of this led to some pretty wacky chemo-daydreams and maybe a few nightmares on my part, that's all I can say.

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