First thing Doc says when he comes in the exam room today:
That's a nice hat. It's much cuter than the other one. I like this one much better. My son wears hats like that.
The doc tells us a dirty joke.
Man: Do you smoke after sex?
Woman: (Looking down to her nether regions) I don't know. I never looked.
Then the doctor says to us, "I had this 73-year-old lady patient. She told the best dirty jokes."
Then he gives us an example: A man came home to find his wife in bed with another man. Outraged, he cries, "What are you doing?"
The woman says to her lover, "See, I told you he was stupid."
Doctor to administrative assistant:
Hey, did you know Father Martucci is a lawyer? I knew there was something wrong with that guy.
Doc is walking through the treatment room, which is empty except for me, because all the other patients are finished with their treatment for today. Fredi is in the basement of the house studying for his mid-term and writing a paper.
I'm basically asleep on the couch, but I hear the doc when he asks, "Lori, are you okay?"
Doc: Because you weren't moving.
Later the doctor says to no one in particular: I don't think I should leave while Lori is still dripping.
Maybe my favorite Fogelism of all time, preceded by a runner-up:
There is a patient in this oncology practice who is a priest known to us simply as "The Monsignor."
"Monsignor," says the doctor, Did you know there is an angel sitting next to you?"
Later, near the end of the day, Doc says to a married couple, "Chans, let's get you out of here. I've got a naked monsignor waiting for me."