Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day

I think the Doc forgot that he had seen my new hat last week. When he came in the exam room today, he said, "Oh, I like this hat much better. You know, my littlest son wears hats like that. Once when we were in St. Petersburg there was a statue of Lenin wearing a hat like that."

For the record, tonight I did find a drawing of Lenin wearing a similar hat, but none of the photos of the Lenin statues in St. Petersburg had him wearing any hat at all. 
The famous statue of Lenin in St. Petersburg is absolutely gigantic. 
I did find a photo of a Lenin statue in Seattle, Washington where Lenin is wearing "my hat."

I was on heavy drugs last year in April for my brain radiation treatment, so I wouldn't have known about this, but you may know there was a blast in St. Petersburg that blew a hole in the statue's coat (the statue from the second photo above). 

That's your history lesson for today. Well, my history lesson that I'm sharing with you.
A male patient was waiting to see the doc. Doc comes through the rooms and says, "Mr. Christie,* why are you here?"

Mr. Christie: I got a wound [on my head].

Doc: Well, look where you're going!

Mr. and Mrs. Christie discuss with the doc whether they should have done anything differently when the wound occurred. Then ...

Doc: Let me introduce you ...
to a telephone. Call me!

Mrs. Christie: But why did the wound get so bad?

Doc: He's not a young chicken anymore. Old people have fragile skin.
Random tidbits:

I'm the guy who sits there at the parade and says, "Why is the emperor naked?"

A while later, when going into an exam room to see a patient, "Why isn't the emperor naked???"

Nurse: Doctor [X]?

Doc (cheerfully): That's me!
Walking by me while I'm mostly asleep, Doc remarks: Cute socks!
Doc to diabetic patient who was wondering why his blood sugar fluctuates so much: You know what's going to make your blood sugar stop going up and down?

When you're dead!
Doc to same patient: You need to keep eating!

And: Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. You must wear green. 

If you're going to drink too much, don't drive.

Over here they don't know how to make beer, but Sam Adams is pretty good. They mostly don't taste like anything, the American beers.

Budweiser tastes like urine.

Becks is a little watery.
German white beers are good.

Patient to Doc: In Germany they've been making beer for 500 years.

Doc: Longer than that!
This one I may have gotten wrong, but I think I'm close, and I had to include it:

Doc, walking through the office: I haven't prayed in years because I lost my mind.
Patient: When do I need to come back?

Doc: In three months so we can make sure you're still alive. 
The patient goes to the assistant to make the appointment. He says, "He wants me to come back in 12 weeks."

She asks him what time.
Patient (earnestly): Six o'clock in the morning would be good!

*All names have been changed.

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